Make it. Eat it. Love it.
I’m pretty sure feeling shocked and surprised is normal at this point. I’m having a baby and I have no idea what to expect or what I’m doing. I download iPhone apps and the Mayo clinic guide to pregnancy on my kindle. How is reading this book or looking at apps going to prepare me for what’s ahead?? Maybe I should just wait for the movie What to expect when your expecting to come out. OK, maybe not.
I feel that the Dr. should have given me some information. Like, anything that could help a totally lost woman on her first pregnancy. Give me something doc. All I got was a bunch of papers telling me to go get blood tests done each month because I never had CMV. What? Good thing Emanuel is a medical student and can explain everything to me.
CMV is a virus that most people get when they are younger. Once you have it your body is immune to it, like chicken pox or mono. I’ve never had it and because it is one of the few viruses that is cross placental it could be harmful to the baby. Wonderful. Let us just add another thing to worry about to the list.
February 11, 2012, week 6: We saw the baby today for the first time! Just a tiny little line on the sonogram and if the doctor didn’t draw a small line showing where baby was I don’t think I would be able to find it! “See that?” said the technician to us, “That little flashing dot is the heartbeat”. The heartbeat! Amazing. Finally, this is all seeming so real to me. We hung the first ultrasound photo on the fridge and my heart smiles every time I look at it. Baby is now only the size of a grain of rice!
February 12, 2012: Katherine and I went to see the wildflowers blooming in the Negev. I brought the sonogram photo to show her and we took photos with it. This little picture keeps me so happy.
February 27, 2012, week 8: Am I really 2 months pregnant already?! I am definitely feeling pregnant even though I may not look it yet. My breasts seem to have doubled in size overnight and are so sore. I have been feeling nauseas, it seems that morning sickness has started to rear its ugly head. Morning sickness is no fun and I hope it goes away soon. I spend days laying on the couch and moaning and complaining. I feel weak and the smell of everything makes me want to puke. My body is changing and I feel like there is no end in sight. Only 8 weeks in and I feel so crappy that I can’t imagine living like this for another 7 months.
February 29, 2012: I had a dream that baby was a little boy. I cannot wait to find out if I am right! I am the most impatient person ever. I want to know!!! Still feeling sick all the time. I haven’t been able to blog at all and my freezer is filled with frozen prepared food so Emanuel doesn’t go hungry. The smell of eggs cooking is horrid and has become a no cook food in the house, along with ketchup. Ugh.
March 7, 2012, week 9: Morning sickness seems to be coming and going. I never throw up though I sometimes wish I would as maybe it would make me feel better. I eat saltines and chicken broth. Emanuel made me homemade ginger ale but the smell is so overpowering it makes me sick. Tonight I am actually feeling a little better and I am craving something salty and something sweet. French fries and a chocolate milkshake. Together. Emanuel happily took me to McDonalds, we sat in a booth and he watched me put my french fries in my chocolate milkshake. We laughed as it was the first ‘weird’ pregnancy food craving I had. I wonder if that whole pickles in ice cream thing will ever sound appealing to me.
March 10, 2012: I am starting to show! Ok, so no one else but me is noticing this tiny little bump that is emerging but I can see it and I know its y baby growing! I can’t wait to have one of those perfectly round beautiful baby bumps! All I need now is for this nausea to go away so I can start enjoying this pregnancy. I so hate when people tell me its a good thing to feel morning sickness because it means the baby is growing healthy and strong. Bull. That’s like saying it’s good luck when it rains on your wedding day or a bird takes a shit on your head. You feel sick because your body is adjusting to making a baby and your hormones are out of control. Period. Yes, baby is hopefully growing healthy and strong but I highly doubt wanting to vomit at every moment is an indication of that. So, please, I appreciate you trying to make me feel better but really, its enough.
Week 11: What a stressful week!! Our city of Beer Sheva has been getting rockets shot at it from Gaza. We get woken up all night by sirens going off and have to run down to our safe area. Escalation between Israel and Gaza is nothing new, however this time it seems to be much more upsetting because I need to think about the little life growing inside of me and not just myself. Another dream this week that baby was a little boy and now I am convinced a boy is what we will be having. Hopefully soon we will find out. I really hate waiting.
March 26, 2012, week 12: 3 months pregnant already! Time is flying. I am feeling better. No more nausea! Aside from back pain, I am starting to feel myself again. We went to the Dr. today for our 12 week sonogram. Baby has grown so much already. He was doing flips in there and would not stay still! I cannot stop smiling. We even saw the tiny hear beating! Such joy! baby is now the size of a plum! We went to dinner tonight to celebrate hitting this milestone in pregnancy. On our way to the restaurant a siren went off. We had to run into someone’s apartment before the rockets hit. It was the first time I wasn’t home when a siren went off. I don’t know how people can raise children here. It worries me that I will probably end up having to grab baby from their crib in the middle of the night to take you to the safe area.
March 27, 2012: The secret is out! We announced to the world today that I am pregnant! Everyone is OVERJOYED with the news. Emanuel’s classmates could not be happier. We will be having the first baby in the class! I’m starting to take a photo of myself every week starting today.
Things I learned in the first 12 weeks:
Stop eating sushi-Not as hard as expected living in the desert where the sushi sucks anyway.
Stop drinking coffee- Never been a big coffee drinker so no problem there.
Eat a balanced diet- Does ice cream qualify as a food group when you’re pregnant? Probably not.
Drink a lot of water- I live in the desert, no problem.
No alcohol- I do enjoy some wine every now and again but this shouldn’t be too hard, check back with me in a month or 2.
Complaining and whining to your husband about morning sickness and breast tenderness does seem to help a bit.
Crying at everything is totally normal.
It’s totally ok to not want your husband to touch you. You feel like crap and he did this to you!