Make it. Eat it. Love it.
January 29, 2012: It’s only week 3 but I took a pregnancy test tonight even though it may be too early to tell. Emanuel and I argued over the outcome of the test. He thought there was a double line and if there was, it was way to faint to tell. Maybe I just couldn’t believe it or was scared at the thought, but I will take another one in the morning.
January 30, 2012: I took another pregnancy test this morning. This time I took a digital test that says either pregnant or not pregnant. No lines this time to dispute. I left the bathroom to start getting ready for the day because sitting waiting for the results would have been an agonizing 3 minutes! Emanuel on the other hand sat and waited and watched. He came out of the bathroom holding the test. “Beth….um it says pregnant” he said. I walked over and said “yeah right”. It was our first time trying. We used a fertility monitor but still, the first time?! It was PREGNANT. I couldn’t believe it. I looked at Emanuel tears swelling up in my eyes and we hugged tightly. I don’t think I have ever felt joy as much as I felt at that moment.
Screw the 3 month rule, I called my parents and brother right away. I couldn’t keep something like this in. I had to tell them knowing how overjoyed they would be. Everyone was so happy with the news. The the first baby on my side of the family (number 7 on Emanuel’s side). I still cannot believe I am pregnant.
It is now week 4, I have taken 5, yes, FIVE pregnancy tests. I guess I just cannot believe there is a little baby growing in there. Emanuel and I went to our first doctor’s appointment. It was the first time I was seeing this OBGYN and the experience was pretty strange. I spoke to her through translation from my husband and she answered me in broken english. The appointment felt cold, a big contrast to what I was expecting. Did I think the Dr. would give me a hug and have a party for me? I don’t know, in the states the feeling is so much warmer and inviting. Here it was so clinical. She was doing her job and that was it. There was no personal relationship with me. She did an ultrasound and we couldn’t see anything on the machine (baby is only the size of poppy seed after all!). Maybe those tests were wrong. Maybe I’m not pregnant. She looked at me like I had 3 heads when I asked her if 5 tests came back positive if it could still be a mistake. She confirmed that if 5 tests came back positive then I should take that as a definitive answer.
I.Am.Pregnant. Now what?